Bathroom Beer
TWO CENTS | OCT 29, 2020
Bathroom Beer
Why drinking in the shower may be the closest thing to a spa experience you’ll have for a while.
The seemingly endless barrage of adjustments since March (don’t go outside, no okay you can go outside but stay on your block, oh wait don’t go outside at all because of poor air quality, but you still can’t go inside cuz you know - COVID) have become somewhat comical as of late. Finding the fine line between reality and optimism is like trying to glimpse the pokey prongs of Sutro Tower through the thick San Francisco fog; one minute it’s there and the next, it’s gone.
So what’s a gal or guy to do? Seeking comfort in unlikely places seems to be the only method of combat in our present day. A game I like to call, "what can I still do that won’t be taken away from me at the next local press briefing."
I should start off by saying that recreational showers are not my thing, nor (unpopular opinion) do I feel the critical need to scrub myself from top to bottom in an effort to meet some kind of quotidian quota. Which, quite honestly, probably makes the experience that much more enjoyable. It’s a ritual, really. The methodical selection of seasonally scented candles (is it a hints of amber and warm tobacco kind of day or are we leaning towards wafts of fresh juniper and eucalyptus?) The carefully curated playlist (will we be belting to ‘80s pop ballads this evening, or would the madam care for something slightly more sultry?) The near scalding hot water that transforms into steam and clings desperately to the bathroom mirror, each convergence of individual droplets sliding into the next, forming a slow racing river towards the smooth porcelain sink. It’s a scene set for sipping, if ever there’s been one. With my beer can in hand, I can only think of one small problem...
For those of you residing in a metropolitan city where every square inch seems to suck more than its fair share out of your paycheck, is it any wonder the resources needed to provide adequate shelving for your beverage of choice tend to be lacking? Also, let’s face it, I don’t think drinking while bathing is necessarily at the forefront of an interior designer’s mind when prioritizing bathroom amenities.
Enter the internet - a treasure trove of all things wanted-slash-never-knew-you-needed. And God bless the fellow that woke up one morning to a solitary thought, likely born forth from his or her own illicit experience: you can have your beer and drink it, too. Yes, even in the shower.
THE SIMPLE GRIP
Silicone and sturdy.
THE DOUBLE DUTY
Tunes and a toast? Add to cart.
THE PLAYER
Why settle for one bev when you can have ‘em all?
THE CLASS ACT
For the lovers of other bubbles.
I’ll be totally honest, I love drinking in the shower. And before you @ me with links to functioning alcoholism, hear me out. First of all, I don’t do it all the time (eye roll emoji). Secondly, times are tough, okay? And I’m sure we can all agree it’s the scarcity between moments of normalcy that keeps us teetering on the edge of gratitude and self-despair. These days, just as you seem to get your emotional bearings another behavioral rug is pulled out from underneath you. Finding tiny luxuries is like a game of scrolling through socials - what can I possibly turn to today to make me even the tiniest bit happy?
But why do I love drinking in the shower so much? It’s the contrast between the emulated tropical rainfall and the somehow sizzling cold carbonation. It’s the slightly taboo nature of the act itself (okay, I’ll just say it - you’re naked). It’s the liquid relaxation that trickles down your esophagus and into the pit of your sudsy stomach. It’s an act of self care and self indulgence, because in this moment, despite everything going on in the world, I am doing this for me.
And it’s because I MISS things. One of those things in particular happens to be Korean spas. Something about the ceremony of drinking a glass of wine before sliding onto a massage table where a total stranger hurled buckets of hot water onto my back, all the while being tossed around like a sturgeon at the local seafood market, just seemed to melt all my troubles away. You know what else I miss? Getting ready to GO SOMEWHERE. Remember that? Remember that feeling of excitement and anticipation, as you pre-game in the shower, trying to imagine what the night ahead could possibly have in store for you?
It’s hard to navigate in today’s harsh environment and sometimes trying to get as close to the things we’ve lost is the only way to find some kind of emotional footing. It’s an exploration of the elements that mean the most to us, and how do we recreate those same feelings and sensations in a world striving to be socially responsible?
So if it’s cold outside, or the kids are screaming over which Disney+ series to binge watch after dinner, or even if you just want to transport to a world where, for 15 minutes, the only thing you really have to decide between is a local IPA or an imported saison. Indulge without judgment, wash without worry, and raise a can to the sweet surrender because even though we may be alone in the shower (notice I said “may”), we’re all still in this together.
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Nicole White is a hospitality and event design professional based in San Francisco.
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