Sydnee Washington

EVERYONE EATS        |        DEC 4, 2020

Sydnee
Washington

COMEDIAN

Sydnee Washington is a comedian, actress, and model. She appeared on Comedy Central's Up Next showcase in 2018, where she gained wider prominence. That year she also hosted a one-woman show called Death of a Bottle Girl.

Before quarantine, Washington co-hosted the Sunday night Knitting Factory comedy showcase, originally started by comedian Hannibal Burress. She also co-hosts the comedy podcast Unofficial Expert with Faustin, where they interview experts across various fields.

In 2020, due to social distancing requirements, Washington began hosting a weekly Instagram Live show called Syd Can Cook. She goes live with various comedians who attempt to assist Washington follow a recipe, like chicken tikka masala and shrimp scampi.

INTERVIEW BY ROSIE ELLIS
PHOTOGRAPHS BY MOLLY CRANNA

SYDNEE'S HOME IN BROOKLYN

Sydnee welcomed us into her Brooklyn home where we discussed her affinity for anything that will induce diabetes and her drama-filled, hilarious Instagram show Syd Can Cook.

BREAKFAST

Breakfast is more of a lifestyle. I don’t think that breakfast works for everybody, especially living in New York City and especially since the pandemic hit. It’s like, what is morning, noon and night anyways? So typical “breakfast” for me, would be cereal or a La Croix, because seltzer fills you up. But yeah, I am the adult that doesn’t want to grow up so I’m always going to want cereal. I love a Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Corn Pops or Lucky Charms.

If I have guests, I’m going to do classic scrambled eggs, bacon and toast because you can’t go wrong with that. If I really, really like you, I’m making pancakes with a little compote because I want to show off and I want you to tell people, “oh my god, she has food in her house!”

Let me tell you, I stopped drinking coffee last year because I was what? Addicted. And then I went over to a worse vice, which is Red Bull – it’s like, I’m not going to do heroin, I’m going to do meth. But I only have a Red Bull midday or at night, so in the morning I just try to cleanse my palate.

LUNCH

Lunch, again, what does that even mean?

I love leftovers. So if I had ordered Chinese food or pizza or something like that, I’ll heat it up because I hate wasting food. Since I’m a single gal in the city, wasted food is going to happen (because I truly can’t get through it all unless we’re in complete lockdown). There were no leftovers our first three months in quarantine – I was eating anything and everything in my refrigerator just to fill the void.

Oh and I love a snack! If you eat enough of them they could be dinner. I love sour cream and cheddar Ruffles. I love rice cakes (cheddar of course). I love Munchies, which is that party mix that has Doritos, pretzels and Cheetos – I love that. When I really want to be healthy, and I’m getting ready for a photoshoot, it’s blueberries, strawberries and mango. I stand by fruit.

Or, if I’m going through a beautiful depression nap (which lasts from 12:30 to 3:30 PM) I might not even do lunch. I might just scurry on down to dinner…

DINNER

I love noodles. I love a homemade cheeseburger. I also love reversing breakfast into dinner so I’ll do a little breakfast cup at night – you put an egg yolk in that little container for cupcakes and you put in vegetables, you can add chives, I put a little bacon in there. It’s good when I make it right. I had a friend over and I definitely had an uncooked egg cup and it was very embarrassing. I think it was the first time I ever made him something. He was like, I really can’t trust you ever, not in the kitchen. And I was like, duh! Do you watch Syd Can Cook?! You know I don’t know anything!

DESSERT

Of course I have a sweeth tooth. I have a sweeth tooth that’s actually missing! I have Airheads in my apartment which is so random but a friend sent me a care package. I love Gummies, Sour Patch Kids, Sour Straws – anything that will induce diabetes, that’s my favorite.

SPEED ROUND

Go-to cookbook?
I don’t have a cookbook. I probably need to get into that, but I get overwhelmed – it’s like three and a half teaspoons of this and a quarter half pound of that. It’s like, ok, I failed math. I’m not good with measurements. You know, just throw it in there! Throw it in the pot and make it happen.

Dream dinner guest?
Issa Rae. (I really enjoy Insecure.) I want to have a good time. I don’t want to have a stuck up time and she’s real fun to me.

 

Secret food hack?

Live in the same building as a friend because when they cook and there are leftovers, you can eat their food and you don’t have to cook.

 

Any vitamins or supplements?
I just started taking Vitamin D because a bitch be miserable! I’m also on antidepressants which are helping a ton but I’m sorry, this year is knocking me off my feet.

Weirdest eating habit?
Truthfully, anything that I’m putting in my mouth after 1:00 AM is going to get weird.

Last thing you ordered for delivery?
Chinese food from one of those good ol' New York City hole-in-the-wall restaurants. I like a traditional New York City Chinese restaurant that’s low maintenance – there’s no hostess, one where a rat probably got up in there.

Favorite restaurant?
SUGARFISH.

Favorite way to work off a big meal?
Gossiping! You will burn so many calories talking about people that you fake hate ... then at the end you say, “just kidding!”

Drink of choice?
Well, your girl is sober so I love a little flavored seltzer. I like to take mango juice and top it off with seltzer. I love a lemonade with seltzer. Anything topped off with a little club, we love.

Go-to market or grocery store?
I like Trader Joe’s because it’s affordable and everything you need, they have.

Cooking playlist?
The Deloris Mix Pt. 6 Buena Suerte on Soundcloud, by Haleyn Msk.

Any foods you avoid?
I’m allergic to anything that’s gluten free or vegan. I need some flavor. I want a chicken nugget that’s chicken. I don’t want a chicken nugget that’s cauliflower and some weird sauce. I’m lactose intolerant, but I will be constipated for a good old meat and cheese plate.

Whose routine would you love to see on Everyone Eats?
Well, I know she’s going through a lot right now, but Chrissy Teigen. If she wants to tell me her routine next year or the year after, I’ll be waiting.

Favorite food family tradition?
I’m estranged from my family, but I do remember that as a kid, once a month on a Wednesday my uncle would take me to McDonald’s after school to get a cheeseburger and fries. I don’t even think it was about McDonald's; it was about having that time with my great uncle.

Favorite place to shop for kitchenwares?
Oh, I don’t like to shop for kitchenwares. I like to be gifted. When someone sends me something, that’s when I truly thrive in the kitchen. The fact that I have this show and I’ve been gifted maybe like three times ... my doorstep should be nothing but boxes of kitchenware.

 

Most overrated food trend?

Banana bread. Why don’t you get banana pudding – now that is something to talk about. But banana bread? You can’t even make a sandwich with it.

 

Recent food discovery?
I made buffalo wings for Syd Can Cook and they're probably the best thing I’ve ever made on the show. I now know how to make buffalo wings better than I remember my social security number. So there it is. It touched me. It’s changed my life, these wings.

Where do you most feel like The Regular?
Sephora. When I go in there, they see my face and they know I don’t need any help because I know exactly what I want. I love spending money.

THIRD SCOOP

Where did your show Syd Can Cook come from? Why did you decide to tackle cooking in quarantine?

The show came about because my friends dared me. They were like, what are you going to do? You have no skills other than being beautiful and funny. How are you going to survive during the pandemic? I was like, oh I’m going to cook my ass off, watch! (And by watch, I mean it’s going on Insta Live.) And that’s how it happened. And then the first one went well because my wig lifted and I started a fire and everyone was laughing and having a good time, so I continued because I thought, oh I’m successful at this.

What is the future of Syd Can Cook?

Who knows! I mean, I think I should definitely have a TV show. It’s actually kind of racist and homophobic that I don’t have a TV show right now. It’s just so fun! Everybody is involved. The people who watch are people who love drama. It’s like people who love Real Housewives, but without the fighting. That’s my show. It’s really tense, you never know what’s going to happen, there’s going to be some roasting, there’s going to be a leak or a flood and there’s going to be some really fun looks. I’m going to bring some outfits.

How do you bring your stand up routine into your Instagram Live persona?

Girl, am I still a stand-up? I have no idea. I have not done stand-up. I’ve done those Zoom shows but that’s just set up for you to hate yourself. You’re telling jokes and you don’t hear the laughs. Those are for people who love hearing their own voices. I’m just waiting to get back out there to hear people laugh. Or maybe everyone will look like Hannibal Lector and have their masks on, pretending they’re having a good time.

I think I’m ready to do that because stand-up was my life. I was doing three shows a night. When I was finished doing my shows I would go to somebody else’s show. I eat and sleep and poop comedy and now it’s like, I guess I just do Instagram now. It’s just like, girl you’re 35, get back into your career and really feel fulfilled (even though I didn’t feel fulfilled when I was doing it pre-Corona, but let’s just pretend). But all my followers are pretty organic; they come from me being myself. (Lies! All my photos are top tier and beautiful and that’s how I get my followers.)

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